The Day of the Hulk
The German veteran will be the main character of Formula 1 for a few weeks. Rightfully so.
I could’ve written about Red Bull for sure regretting the low downforce setup that helped Max Verstappen to take pole position.
I could’ve written a bitter rant about the Safety Car once again bailing out the teams that refused to switch to full wet tires when the conditions became too difficult for inters, and complain that the FIA treats the teams like children who need protection from the consequences of their own decisions.
I could’ve written about Oscar Piastri’s penalty that was too severe for my taste and, as the recently published Penalty Guidelines, a more appropriate penalty in my opinion would have been a 5-second instead of 10.
I could’ve written about Lando Norris, who seems to have finally figured out how to consistently keep his pants clean, even when things don’t go his way.
But who cares?
All of the above is meaningless, irrelevant, and inconsequential. Much like the events of the frenetic British Grand Prix, they serve merely as side plots in Nico Hulkenberg's day of glory.
The Universe Rewards Honest Work
To hell with the McBoys and their OP machinery. They stood on the podium merely as a backdrop for a true gamer—a hardworking blue-collar man who has been grinding away in shitboxes for the sake of his family.
The man dropped by Williams and Renault, who had to take jobs of reserve driver for Force India a year after his debut, and the team’s subsequent iterations in recent years, the man who had to wait 15 years and 238 races finally was rewarded and vindicated.
It could’ve happened at Hockenheim six years ago, but our hero lost the car on the infamous drag strip in treacherous conditions and crashed into the barrier.
He could have won twelve years ago in the epic final race of the season at Interlagos, but our hero lost control while overtaking Lewis Hamilton for the lead, resulting in a collision.
The Man, the Dad, the Chad
These heartbreaks would shatter the confidence of a weakling like an eggshell, but Hulkenberg is far too manly for that. For him, they were merely character-building experiences, dramatic setups for the ultimate triumph that, fittingly enough, occurred in the same mixed conditions that had previously witnessed his failures.
Hulkenberg excels in these conditions, as demonstrated during his rookie year when he took pole position for the 2010 Brazilian Grand Prix in a Williams, beating by over a second the cheapass Red Bulls, McLarens, and Ferraris.
He flawlessly handled the unpredictable weather at Silverstone, treating his tires with the utmost care, akin to a mother nurturing her newborn. He didn’t flinch when Hamilton pressured him for a few laps. He capitalized on the right calls of his team and rewarded Sauber with their first podium finish since the 2012 Japanese Grand Prix.
He not only got the monkey off his back, but at the same time, he will bring home a trophy that his daughter can play with:
OP: I also have a question for Nico. How does it feel after fifteen years of F1 to get a podium [trophy] that’s made out of Lego that you can just pull apart?
NH: What? Sorry.
OP: It’s just made out of Lego that you can pull apart and probably buy next week.
NH: Yeah. I love Lego! It’s good. My daughter can play with it too. You’ve always got to see the bright side. But, you know, a bit of silver or gold would have been nice too, but I won’t complain.
What a chad.